Here are 7 basic guidelines one should follow when celebrating Canada Day.
1. Make sure your daughter's bike wins 1st prize in the Bike Decorating Contest for the parade.
2. Make sure you push all the short kids out of the way as the float people toss out cheap candy. (Luckily, there is no pic of this.)
3. After swimming in the park pool ALL afternoon, sit in the beer gardens with all your favorite locals.
4. Attempt to check on your children every so often so as to prevent giant wooden swings from attacking them.
5. After a formidable fireworks display, invite all your neighbours and friends over for waterfights and burgers. Try not to get thrown in the kiddie pool.
6. Do NOT... I repeat, DO NOT try riding your daughter's bike through your flower beds at 1 am. Especially after 1 or 7 beers.
7. Remember, that Canada Day is a huge and important event in your life and try to maintain composure, grace, and maturity for our nation's birthday.
You may need a couple days rest and a good deal of ibuprofen following your patriotic festivities. And that's OKAY.
No comments:
Post a Comment