Louise, the lovely snake

You know it's summertime at the silly old Graham's house when the pets start arriving. And departing....

Goodbye Louise. You will be missed. Have fun back at the river and if you happen to see Susan or Luigi, please tell them we miss them too.

StrangeTales of a Hammock and a Girl

It probably happens every 200 years or so...
Or maybe when the stars align and the werewolves come out...
Or MAYBE it's because its Friday the 13th.

But let me tell you about the strange and unusual events that took place THIS particular Friday, June 13, 2008.
You see, the Grahams have a young daughter, aged 10.
Shelby has never been the independent type. In fact, you might call her a rather helpless minion. This is a child who still can't run her own shower, who looks in the living room when she needs a pot, and can't master toast.
But tonight.... that all changed.
It all started with a simple bet.
Mommy got a new hammock from Daddy. The hammock arrived clad in tiny, wrapped pieces, a thick, stapled, taped-up box and a multi-language 4-page instruction manual.
Shelby asked to spend the night sleeping on the hammock.
HAHAHA...right.
Jokingly, Mommy replied, "Sure my dear, providing YOU put it together."

"Okay".

And then it began.

And she trudged on throughout the night.

We sat in the living room and watched in awe. Oscar said it was better than a TV show.

And finally, it was over. She did it. She really did it. And we all had to eat our words. But Shelby, oh Shelby, you have sure raised the bar on your poor self!!

And everything I thought I knew, I now question. The world as we know it, has changed forever.

And I have me a fine new hammock.

15 Things I'll Never Do

1. Wear rubber boots with a skirt. Not ever.

2. Say no to an Easter Cream Egg.

3. Shop at Abercrombie and Fitch. I swear, those saleskids are zombie clones! (That’s why they keep it so dark and creepy in there!)

4. Attend a Tony Robbins convention. (He may also be some sort of alien creature, not sure…)

5. Watch a Rocky or Rambo movie marathon. Sorry husband.

6. Work at a hamburger restaurant because I freakin LURVE hamburgers. With bacon. So I will not work at a bacon restaurant either.

7. Stop wearing my disgusting gardening pants.

8. Wash my disgusting gardening pants.

9. Go pants or bra shopping with my BFF, Mary. And, I might add…I wish that upon no one.

10. Wish that I were ten again so I could convince everyone that I were marrying one of the stupid Doofus Brothers as I plastered his poster all over my walls.

11. Turn down a hug from the son who calls me beautiful sweetheart when he gets out of the van to go to school in the morning.

12. Admit to owning a Clay Aiken CD….oh, snap.

13. Dry clean my clothes. WELL…geez, I’m not a rich person. Does it look like I eat dinner at 9 or play the stock exchange? Gosh.

14. Eliminate meat from my diet. Y’all know how I love me a juicy meat cow.

15. Choose a Kashi granola bar over chocolate.

Spring Break in Minneapolis

HIGHS

-Six dollar shirts and eight dollar shoes in all their cuteness

-Bubba Gump Shrimp Factory STILL makes the best shrimp in the land

-Meeting the quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings. Ok, that’s Barry and Oscar’s high but can we all say HAWT???!!!! I think we had a moment.

-One word - I K E A

LOWS

-7 hours of driving with a bladder the size of a pea

-Oscar asking me where I got that fat part when I put on my bikini

-“Are we there yet?”…” What’s next?”… “Can I buy this, puhleeeeeze?...” over and over and over again

-Stopping for an extra night in Fargo without bunk beds in the room and having to sleep with farty, fidgety, kids.



AHHHH....it's good to be home. I will now attempt to lose about 17 pounds of bacon, shrimp, and cheesecake.