Christmas is the best at MY house because...

I have a fake tree. And that’s good because you won’t get a pine needle rammed between your toes when you walk in our living room. And because I could put it up in August if I wanted. I don’t. But I could.

I make the best fudge in town. You know why? Because I put Velveeta cheese in it. If you come over, I’ll share it with you. Unless you’re a creepy person that I don’t know.

There’s singing. Oh how there’s singing. I sing non-stop. The kids sing. And yes, even Barry sings. In the car, doin’ dishes, probably in his office. We are a grand bunch of singers. I make up my own words if I don’t know them. It doesn’t matter that Santa brought me 8 baconators on the eight day of Christmas.

We bought our kids the BEST presents this year. I’m so excited, I’ve been on Rolaids for a week. And the reason we bought them the best gifts, is because this year, they’ve been the BEST kids ever. And they’re also the cutest. Even though they’re at that age where they’re embarking on awkward, I still think they’re the cutest. Knobby knees, giant teeth, skinny butts and all.

I over decorate. I love flashing lights, fake snow, mistletoes, wreaths, you name them, I have them. I’ve been told it looks like Christmas barfed on my house.

I have a brand new game of Cranium Pop edition just itching to be played. Y’all know how I love me a good board game. It’s almost as good as a puzzle in my books. So I’m just waiting for someone to show up to play with me. And Barry. And Mary. Don’t worry. I’ll make dip.

Christmas makes me sick with anticipation. I’m so overwrought with joy.