Since I go around insulting my children's poor athletic abilities all the time and poking fun at them (REAL parents DO this!!), I thought I should do a bit of bragging to ensure nobody calls CFS on me.
It appears that my daughter has a future in comedy and my son, well...has a future in something. Rapping maybe? ewwww.
But anyways, have a look at how much cuter my kids are than all other kids on the planet. (I think they get that from me.)
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Please sir, can I have some nukes?
I've decided to allow a couple of my political blogs on here, as they are pretty tame. This one was written October 10 2006
Dear North Korea,
We're sorry that President Bush called you evil.
We're sorry that Rumsfeld probably sold you your nuking gear.
We're also sorry that we have a prime minister that has regular play dates with Bush.
We really hope you're messing with us when you say you have missiles that can reach America.
We also hope that you were just f*cking around with your buddies when you tested your so-called nuclear bomb the other night. (YES, WE BELIEVE YOU NOW!!!)
And specifically to Kim Jong ll, we are sorry for not feeding your attention starved ego lately, we've been busy helping Bush plot against Iran and cleaning up the messes we made in the Middle East playground. Maybe if you had a bucket of oil, we would play with you more often!!
Finally, it would be wise if you would put your efforts into helping your impoverished country's economy rather than sinking all your money into silly old nukes. Y'know, I'm just saying...
Love and Hugs,
Canada (country north of USA, that does what it's told)
Dear North Korea,
We're sorry that President Bush called you evil.
We're sorry that Rumsfeld probably sold you your nuking gear.
We're also sorry that we have a prime minister that has regular play dates with Bush.
We really hope you're messing with us when you say you have missiles that can reach America.
We also hope that you were just f*cking around with your buddies when you tested your so-called nuclear bomb the other night. (YES, WE BELIEVE YOU NOW!!!)
And specifically to Kim Jong ll, we are sorry for not feeding your attention starved ego lately, we've been busy helping Bush plot against Iran and cleaning up the messes we made in the Middle East playground. Maybe if you had a bucket of oil, we would play with you more often!!
Finally, it would be wise if you would put your efforts into helping your impoverished country's economy rather than sinking all your money into silly old nukes. Y'know, I'm just saying...
Love and Hugs,
Canada (country north of USA, that does what it's told)
Spirited Energy
This blog was written June 19 2006
Phew....what a relief! I no longer need to be friendly. Now my licence plate will read "Spirited Energy". And I ask, do we need to be drunk for that?
Anyways, this really tops my list for stupid crap now. It's already cost taxpayers $600000 and is estimated to cost over $2 million when all slogans and crap are done.
But fear not my friends, as Gary Doer insists that now everyone will know what Manitoba has to offer. We're more than just friendly folk with bitter winters and killer mosquitos. This new slogan and ad campaign will tell everyone about our creative edge.
Personally I would have voted for " Manitoba - Uncomfortably Close to Ontario".
How much does this suck? I was content being friendly. Now I gotta come up with some energy. And spirit? eww.
Phew....what a relief! I no longer need to be friendly. Now my licence plate will read "Spirited Energy". And I ask, do we need to be drunk for that?
Anyways, this really tops my list for stupid crap now. It's already cost taxpayers $600000 and is estimated to cost over $2 million when all slogans and crap are done.
But fear not my friends, as Gary Doer insists that now everyone will know what Manitoba has to offer. We're more than just friendly folk with bitter winters and killer mosquitos. This new slogan and ad campaign will tell everyone about our creative edge.
Personally I would have voted for " Manitoba - Uncomfortably Close to Ontario".
How much does this suck? I was content being friendly. Now I gotta come up with some energy. And spirit? eww.
Why Swim with the Sharks?
Why Swim with the Sharks?
Is your brand new black acura really going to bring you more happiness than your kid-filled old rusty mini-van with cheezie crumbs, baby wipes and the off key warbling of “The Wheels on The Bus go Round and Round”?
If you put that Ikea retro-modern dressoir and candelabra in your living room, do you think your kids will remember when they’re adults that you took their ugly stained Winnie-the-pooh foam chairs away just so their Dad’s new boss would be impressed when he came over for dinner parties? Where will they play board games now? Why can’t they have popcorn anymore on the new shag white carpet on family movie night?
Is it really going to be better if you take your kids to the most expensive amusement park like your neighbours did, rather than spending a weekend camping and learning about nature and telling campfire stories?
What is the point of dressing your children in Gap or Abercrombie? Do you think the other kids and parents will like them better? What are you teaching your children about the value of a dollar if you spend 30 dollars on a shirt rather than 10 dollars for one just as good that doesn’t have a stupid name on it. And when you stop and think about it, wouldn’t you rather your children (and yourself for that matter) gain the friendship and respect of others based on their attributes rather than the clothes they wear? Maybe that extra 20 dollars you spent on the Gap shirt could be put towards sponsoring a foster child. Think about what THAT would teach your child!
My point is this:
If you spend all your time, money and effort trying to attain the things you think will make you happy or impress others, you may find that you missed out on the things that make life REALLY beautiful.
Don’t get me wrong. I like nice things too. (especially plants!!) We all do. In fact, I just got a new living room suite. So every now and then, I’ll probably go back and re-read this just to keep myself grounded.
However, I see so many people around me trying to outdo one another. If the Jones’ have this or that, we think we MUST get one too. And maybe even a newer model, just to make them jealous..snicker snicker…
My home is my fortress…it is beautiful to me for memories like Oscar’s first wobbly little steps, Shelby’s dislocated elbow from trying to do a WWE suplex on her Daddy, and the abstract artworks hung strategically all over the walls by Shelby and Oscar Graham.
I may not have all the neatest toys or most expensive things, but I am blessed beyond belief for the beauty in my home, yard and family.
Is your brand new black acura really going to bring you more happiness than your kid-filled old rusty mini-van with cheezie crumbs, baby wipes and the off key warbling of “The Wheels on The Bus go Round and Round”?
If you put that Ikea retro-modern dressoir and candelabra in your living room, do you think your kids will remember when they’re adults that you took their ugly stained Winnie-the-pooh foam chairs away just so their Dad’s new boss would be impressed when he came over for dinner parties? Where will they play board games now? Why can’t they have popcorn anymore on the new shag white carpet on family movie night?
Is it really going to be better if you take your kids to the most expensive amusement park like your neighbours did, rather than spending a weekend camping and learning about nature and telling campfire stories?
What is the point of dressing your children in Gap or Abercrombie? Do you think the other kids and parents will like them better? What are you teaching your children about the value of a dollar if you spend 30 dollars on a shirt rather than 10 dollars for one just as good that doesn’t have a stupid name on it. And when you stop and think about it, wouldn’t you rather your children (and yourself for that matter) gain the friendship and respect of others based on their attributes rather than the clothes they wear? Maybe that extra 20 dollars you spent on the Gap shirt could be put towards sponsoring a foster child. Think about what THAT would teach your child!
My point is this:
If you spend all your time, money and effort trying to attain the things you think will make you happy or impress others, you may find that you missed out on the things that make life REALLY beautiful.
Don’t get me wrong. I like nice things too. (especially plants!!) We all do. In fact, I just got a new living room suite. So every now and then, I’ll probably go back and re-read this just to keep myself grounded.
However, I see so many people around me trying to outdo one another. If the Jones’ have this or that, we think we MUST get one too. And maybe even a newer model, just to make them jealous..snicker snicker…
My home is my fortress…it is beautiful to me for memories like Oscar’s first wobbly little steps, Shelby’s dislocated elbow from trying to do a WWE suplex on her Daddy, and the abstract artworks hung strategically all over the walls by Shelby and Oscar Graham.
I may not have all the neatest toys or most expensive things, but I am blessed beyond belief for the beauty in my home, yard and family.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
