Yes, it’s true. I am domestically challenged.
I figured if you can roast a mean chicken and bake a cake from a box, you’re good.
But NOOOOOOOOO. Apparently the gods of great-grandmothers’everywhere, are on to me. Hanging out with the “other mothers” as I affectionately call them has brought up the rather embarrassing and WAY TOO FREAKING FREQUENT questions.
Them : So, what kind of yeast do you use for your whole wheat bread?
Me: Umm….Is that a Wonderbread product??
Them : Did you sew those curtains yourself?
Me : Yeah, and the flimsy purple power ranger costume that Oscar is wearing for Halloween this year is also my creation. Really. I made it with my Superstore machine!!
Them : What kind of canning did you do this year? Did you make peach jam?
Me : Screw off, Martha Stewart. I BUY my condiments. (K fine, I didn't actually SAY these answers but I angrily barked them inside my head.)
I don’t sew, make breathtaking crafts, or throw lavish parties with hors d’hoeuvres that don’t come out of a box in the freezer.
My meager garden has about 4 basic vegetables and sometimes the kids have to take Snak-Paks (shout out to snak-pak inventor!) to school.
Ideally, I’d like to be one of those mothers who grows all her own food, bakes her own bread, whilst gently nurturing her children in an environment of educational bliss. And the charming high heeled wife who naturally converses and chortles among her husbands business colleagues about the Dow Jones and Syria’s nuclear developments.
But not today. Or tomorrow. Sorry, my disappointed internets. It most probably won’t be happening.
However, I may switch from Dream Whip in a can to the powdered stuff. Just don’t push me!
