Over the many years of my adult life, I’ve attended many ridiculous direct selling parties. I don’t think “party” is the term I would use for these “suck all your female friends into buying crap with a 500% markup so Sheena doesn’t have to get a real job” events. However, that is what they call them. You’ve all been to them…(okay well maybe not the men), but ladies, you’ve attended at least one Tupperware/Party-lite candle/Pampered Chef/Silk Plants/Mary-Kay/Weekender Clothing …etc…BARF…part-ay.
Well these fancy soirees just aren’t my bag. Don’t get me wrong, I love to go eat tiny crackers, cheese and cutesie little spring rolls, whilst we gossip about the new neighbour and her real or fake bustline… BUT…seriously, are you a true friend if you want me to spend $20 on a little box of tealite candles? Or $50 on a plastic cereal container? How bout $100 on a polyester vest that my great-grandma might have liked? Especially when you KNOW that I love to find me a sale at good old Target and can get all the above crap for less than 20 bucks and still throw in a bag of Doritos. And don’t EVER say, “oh silly, you don’t HAVE to buy anything…just COME…it’ll be loads of fun!”…I know that as soon as I’m out the door, you’re bitching about what a cheapskate I am.
So I’m sorry friends. I’m not going to go to your selling parties and feel pressured to buy a large amount of crap I don’t need just to get you to your sales goal so you can get a free votive or measuring cup.
Please feel free to invite me to your wedding/baby showers, anniversary parties, or plain old catching up with coffee nights, and I will jump at the chance. Just don’t invite me to something where I’ll feel like a bonehead if I don’t hand over my cash for useless crap.
P.S. I hope I still have friends!!
