15 Things I'll Never Do

1. Wear rubber boots with a skirt. Not ever.

2. Say no to an Easter Cream Egg.

3. Shop at Abercrombie and Fitch. I swear, those saleskids are zombie clones! (That’s why they keep it so dark and creepy in there!)

4. Attend a Tony Robbins convention. (He may also be some sort of alien creature, not sure…)

5. Watch a Rocky or Rambo movie marathon. Sorry husband.

6. Work at a hamburger restaurant because I freakin LURVE hamburgers. With bacon. So I will not work at a bacon restaurant either.

7. Stop wearing my disgusting gardening pants.

8. Wash my disgusting gardening pants.

9. Go pants or bra shopping with my BFF, Mary. And, I might add…I wish that upon no one.

10. Wish that I were ten again so I could convince everyone that I were marrying one of the stupid Doofus Brothers as I plastered his poster all over my walls.

11. Turn down a hug from the son who calls me beautiful sweetheart when he gets out of the van to go to school in the morning.

12. Admit to owning a Clay Aiken CD….oh, snap.

13. Dry clean my clothes. WELL…geez, I’m not a rich person. Does it look like I eat dinner at 9 or play the stock exchange? Gosh.

14. Eliminate meat from my diet. Y’all know how I love me a juicy meat cow.

15. Choose a Kashi granola bar over chocolate.

Spring Break in Minneapolis

HIGHS

-Six dollar shirts and eight dollar shoes in all their cuteness

-Bubba Gump Shrimp Factory STILL makes the best shrimp in the land

-Meeting the quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings. Ok, that’s Barry and Oscar’s high but can we all say HAWT???!!!! I think we had a moment.

-One word - I K E A

LOWS

-7 hours of driving with a bladder the size of a pea

-Oscar asking me where I got that fat part when I put on my bikini

-“Are we there yet?”…” What’s next?”… “Can I buy this, puhleeeeeze?...” over and over and over again

-Stopping for an extra night in Fargo without bunk beds in the room and having to sleep with farty, fidgety, kids.



AHHHH....it's good to be home. I will now attempt to lose about 17 pounds of bacon, shrimp, and cheesecake.