1. Wear rubber boots with a skirt. Not ever.
2. Say no to an Easter Cream Egg.
3. Shop at Abercrombie and Fitch. I swear, those saleskids are zombie clones! (That’s why they keep it so dark and creepy in there!)
4. Attend a Tony Robbins convention. (He may also be some sort of alien creature, not sure…)
5. Watch a Rocky or Rambo movie marathon. Sorry husband.
6. Work at a hamburger restaurant because I freakin LURVE hamburgers. With bacon. So I will not work at a bacon restaurant either.
7. Stop wearing my disgusting gardening pants.
8. Wash my disgusting gardening pants.
9. Go pants or bra shopping with my BFF, Mary. And, I might add…I wish that upon no one.
10. Wish that I were ten again so I could convince everyone that I were marrying one of the stupid Doofus Brothers as I plastered his poster all over my walls.
11. Turn down a hug from the son who calls me beautiful sweetheart when he gets out of the van to go to school in the morning.
12. Admit to owning a Clay Aiken CD….oh, snap.
13. Dry clean my clothes. WELL…geez, I’m not a rich person. Does it look like I eat dinner at 9 or play the stock exchange? Gosh.
14. Eliminate meat from my diet. Y’all know how I love me a juicy meat cow.
15. Choose a Kashi granola bar over chocolate.
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