Just when you thought the “hockey mom” was becoming an endangered species…..yes, that’s right. I am joining the official rankings of hockey mom’s everywhere!!! And I gotta admit… I’m a little excited.
I don’t really know anything about being a hockey mom, but I’m sure I’ll catch on quick.
From what I understand, I will learn to adapt to a new winter diet consisting of rink dogs, popcorn and diet coke. My son will learn to drink gallons of Gatorade.
I will also learn to bare my teeth at hockey moms of opposing teams as their wicked little tyrants body check or even snarl at my precious angel.
Apparently I will learn to make a 50 gazillion pound black CCM hockey bag look like a must-have fashion accessory…that is, if I learn to lift the damn thing…
I am busy making a check list of where all that equipment and other crap goes and whatever order it’s supposed to be in.
I pledge to become a road warrior, trekking across vast expanses of sleet, black ice or blizzards to get my little NHL wannabe to his destination battlegrounds!
I will learn to expand my vocal chords (and vocabulary) to deal with refs who dare put Mr. Handsome into a penalty box, or coaches who may bench him due to his ability.
I’ve seen that hockey moms tend to have longer necks to enhance their ability to see into each ice surface corner as well as expanded peripheral vision to catch any offsides. I hope to obtain these skills quickly.
And Hockey Dad has brainwashed both son and I that colour of uniform such as jerseys or heaven forbid - SOCKS!!, is important. IE – blue/white combo = VERY BAD. (Apparently Hockey Dad harbours ill feelings towards the Leafs – will look into therapy for him.)
I’ve also heard that sometimes, hopefully not in my case….hockey players tend to disown their hockey moms. I’m really not sure why. I shall adopt the “Can’t Happen to Me” attitude on this issue.
So wish me luck, internets! With Shelby in figure skating twice a week and Oscar embarking on hockey once a week, you can find me at the rink. I’ll be the crazy lady with the frozen butt and extra layer of winter blubber.
I don’t really know anything about being a hockey mom, but I’m sure I’ll catch on quick.
From what I understand, I will learn to adapt to a new winter diet consisting of rink dogs, popcorn and diet coke. My son will learn to drink gallons of Gatorade.
I will also learn to bare my teeth at hockey moms of opposing teams as their wicked little tyrants body check or even snarl at my precious angel.
Apparently I will learn to make a 50 gazillion pound black CCM hockey bag look like a must-have fashion accessory…that is, if I learn to lift the damn thing…
I am busy making a check list of where all that equipment and other crap goes and whatever order it’s supposed to be in.
I pledge to become a road warrior, trekking across vast expanses of sleet, black ice or blizzards to get my little NHL wannabe to his destination battlegrounds!
I will learn to expand my vocal chords (and vocabulary) to deal with refs who dare put Mr. Handsome into a penalty box, or coaches who may bench him due to his ability.
I’ve seen that hockey moms tend to have longer necks to enhance their ability to see into each ice surface corner as well as expanded peripheral vision to catch any offsides. I hope to obtain these skills quickly.
And Hockey Dad has brainwashed both son and I that colour of uniform such as jerseys or heaven forbid - SOCKS!!, is important. IE – blue/white combo = VERY BAD. (Apparently Hockey Dad harbours ill feelings towards the Leafs – will look into therapy for him.)
I’ve also heard that sometimes, hopefully not in my case….hockey players tend to disown their hockey moms. I’m really not sure why. I shall adopt the “Can’t Happen to Me” attitude on this issue.
So wish me luck, internets! With Shelby in figure skating twice a week and Oscar embarking on hockey once a week, you can find me at the rink. I’ll be the crazy lady with the frozen butt and extra layer of winter blubber.
