My garden is in. ALL IN.
So I have a totally new approach this year. Forget organic. Forget gently plucking the weeds out one by one. Forget picking off the potato bugs or hanging a fake wasp nest to deter stinging pests. NONE OF THAT WORKS, PEOPLE.
The soul-sucking weeds and the satanic hornets who decided to hibernate in tunnels in my innocent little garden are declaring war. And I'm not going down without a fight.
Husband and I are armed with twenty different brands of chemicals, poison and flamethrowers. Those weeds don't stand a chance!! And the hornets? Well, I've already been stung once and short of pouring gasoline down all the holes, I'm not sure what to do. But back-pack Barry has sprayed poison all over the entire yard (don't bring your children over to play), so hopefully they've all died a slow and painful death.
If you're worried about the health and safety of my family once we start eating our radioactive lettuce and explosive carrots, don't fret. I will wash everything before it comes into this house. And if the bunnies manage to crawl through the hole in the fence that Shelby attacked with the lawn mower, then too bad. DIE BUNNIES, DIE.
I feel clever and powerful and impishly evil.
Wish me luck friends.
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