Should I or Shouldn't I?

I don't have a cell phone. I know. I KNOW.

There are a few good reasons I don't have one. For one, people might call me. Another, they may TEXT me. And obviously, they're expensive.

However, I also do not own an i-pod, my digital camera's batteries die every 5 minutes, and my last good watch is leaving some nasty tan lines. Not to mention, silly Barry took Nuvi (my GPS) to Niagara Falls with him, so I can't venture further than Altona for the next week. To be honest, last time she helped me out, she led me down some back roads out east where I swear I could hear banjo music playing eerily in the ditches. I also swear that when she repeatedly said "recalculating, recalculating" about 40 times, I could detect tone. And quite frankly, I didn't appreciate that.

So.
I was wondering if maybe I should consider getting a cell phone? Y'ALL know that you can have every single one of those features in your phone? SERIOUSLY. And I just read somewhere today that soon you'll be able to pay for a bucket of chicken with your cell phone. That's right. They can program your credit card information right into your phone now which totally sounds safe to me.

So anyhoo. I figured I was always pretty radtacular as a youngster, why stop now? If I could master the Sony Walkman or the Polaroid instamatic, I'm surely ready for a blackberry, right?

I'm sure there's some kind of medication out there for my fear of phones which, by the way, is TOTALLY A LEGITIMATE MEDICAL CONDITION.